Is it possible that you are being abused and not even know it?
Abuse is not always as apparent as being hit or shoved, called demeaning names or cussed out. In fact, it can very well be underhanded or astute.
You may find yourself feeling confused about the relationship, off balance or like you are “walking on
eggshells” all the time. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more
entrenched in the relationship. This is psychological abuse, which is also known as mental or emotional
Some signs of psychological abuse are:
1. He pushes for quick involvement.
He comes on strong, professing, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
2. There’s constant jealousy.
Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.
3. He’s controlling.
He probes you intensely about who you talked to and where you were, checks mileage on the car, keeps all the money or asks for receipts, and insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything.
4. He has very unrealistic expectations.
He expects perfection from you and for you to meet their every need.
5. There’s isolation.
He tries to cut you off from family and friends, deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you
from holding a job.
6. He blames others for his own mistakes.
The boss, family, you — it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.
7. He makes everyone else responsible for their feelings.
The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so pissed off if you wouldn’t..”
8. He’s hypersensitive.
He’s easily insulted and will often bluster and babble about injustices that are just part of life.
9. He’s cruel to animals and children.
He kills or punishes animals brutally. He also may expect children to do things beyond their ability or tease them until they cry.
10. He uses “playful” force during sex.
He enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will; he finds this exciting. He intimidates, manipulates or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.
11. There’s verbal abuse.
He constantly criticizes you or says cruel things. He dishonors, curses and calls you ugly names. He will use impuissant points about your past or current life against you.
12. There are rigid gender roles in the relationship.
He always expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
13. He has sudden mood swings.
He switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.
14. He threatens violence.
He makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.”
15. He refuses to communicate.
Every time you try to communicate with him, he either gets angry and weighs you down with his feelings or finds ways to get out of the conversation.
If you see yourself in these words, know that there is little hope for your relationship to improve. It would take a colossal amount of comprehension and motivation for the abuser to change and unfortunately, this is rarely the case. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is prerequisite for you to get out of that tie-up!